Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.
After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat & I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine & I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion & steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile & said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat ."
Murphy is having a quiet pint on his own in a Dublin bar when a man come in and orders a whiskey.
ReplyDelete“Its not everyone that knows that whiskey” says Murphy “ you’ll be from Tipperary I suppose.”
“Let me buy that for I’m from down there too.”
“Most of my life”, says the man” I lived in Connell Street by the market”.
“Well would you credit it “says Murphy “ I’ ve lived in that same road myself. Let’s have another drink.”
A few rounds later after a grand discussion , the man says to Murphy “Where exactly in Connell Street did you live?”
“Number 14 “says Murphy straight out.” Sweet Jesu “said the man I was there myself for many years.” Therafter the pair spent the night laughing and drinking together.
After closing the owner phoned the barman and asked how the night had been.
The barman said it had been very quiet, almost empty. If it hadn’t been for the Murphy twins who were there as usual, it wouldn’t have been worth opening.