Sammy and Don

What handsome guys we were in the good old days.

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Don

Attachment: Sammy Simpson and I.jpg

ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale, hit Essex in the early hours of today.   It's epicentre was in Basildon.  Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

 

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately 짙30 worth of damage.

 

Several priceless collections of mementoes from Majorca and Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

 

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were also lost'

 

Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

 

Radio Essex reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened to Basildon.

 

One resident - Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.   My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all.   I was still shaking when I was spraying on me tan and watching Trisha on the telly".

 

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

 

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Argos and bone china from Pound Stretchers.

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

 

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels.    The most needed items are:-

 

Fila or Burberry baseball caps

 

Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)_

 

Rockport Boots

 

Any other items usually sold in Primark

 

Required foodstuffs include:-

 

Microwave meals

 

Tins of baked beans

 

Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew

 

Remember:-

 

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms

 

짙1 buys chips for a family of 9

 

짙6 buys a packet of B & H fags for those still shell shocked

 

Breaking News

 

Rescue workers have found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.  They asked "Where you bleeding from".    "Romford" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you".

alenleese

alenleese

The day I lost 4A through "friendly action"

Refuelling!!!!

Attachment: 4A burning.jpg

Tell her its a mushroom.jpg

Its a mushroom

MAJ.O.J.LEWIS

Very sad report of the death of MAJ O J LEWIS[1stTHE ROYAL DRAGOONS] at the age of 79yrs

Funeral will take place at 1400hrs Tuesday 20th november in FOWEY PARISH CHURCH ,CORNWALL

R.I.P.  O.J

They used to love my cookin'

Wondeful what you could do on the old No 2 cooker!

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Don

Attachment: Home cooking.jpg