Royals

Royals (5 images)

All ex Royal Dragoons

I am looking for all ex Royal Dragoons or any person that was attached to the regiment up until 1969, if you are one of those people please get in touch with me and then we may be able to put you in touch with someone you may have known.

http://1sttheroyaldragoons.multiply.com/

Photo Album 2012-08-28

LETTER FROM MACMILLAN NURSES

This is the letter that I received from the macmillan nurses for the cheque I sent which was from members at the reunion this year.

The passing of Lt Michael Casey

 

I must sadly report that 712613 Lt Michael Casey (68) who served with The Royal Dragoons (1st Dragoons) from January 1962 to December 1965 died on Friday, 17 August 2012.

The sincere condolences of the Association go to his widow and family at this difficult time.

A funeral service for family and friends will be held on Friday, 24 August at 1030hrs at St. Swithun, Quenington, Gloucestershire GL7 5B. A Memorial service will be held at a date to be notified.

THE ROYAL DRAGOONS REGIMENTAL COLLECT

O God, in whose sight all creatures are manifest and to whose eyes all things are open, grant that the works Thou requirest of the 1st The Royal Dragoons may never be done to be seen of men, but always for Thy Glory, and that, waiting on Thee to renew our strength, we mount up with wings as eagles at Thy word, through Jesus Christ Our Lord.

(TOBIAS,1930)

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day to Geoge Blaxland tomorrow, heres hoping you have a good one and many more in the future,

With best wishes,

John Atkins

Transfering Pic's

John,
This maybe a tech Question, when the time comes can we transfer the many Pic's & vidio's from Muliply to the new Site?

Pixie

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day to Terry Lyons today, hoping that you have a good one,

With best wishes,

John Atkins

Test for new site

Can members please check to see if they can get into new site, and if so let me have there comments, put http://johnie68.proboards.com you may have to go through the support page to do it, if so you will see the URL as above on there, click on it and it should take you to the Bulletin Board, I will go through it with Denis tonight to test it out, Good luck??

Multiply Message

Please read the message that Multiply have put at the top of the home page , It appears that they are now pulling out of the Social Networking and so it looks as if we will have to maybe migrate to another Social Networking site before the 1st of December.

John Atkins

Lifes Simple Truths

SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated. No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. 'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. 'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.' FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money can not buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. THERE YOU HAVE IT...and remember, life is good.

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

A belated birthday wish to Jim Harris in Aus, hoping that you had a good one and heres to many more.

With best wishes,

John Atkins

test results

Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, ...she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly. "Thanks for that, it was lovely but listen very very carefully. "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?"

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

2013 Reunion

Start:

Jun 15, '13 2:00p

The reunion will be held on the 15th June 2013 at the Fradley Arms,
Please remember to book in at the Premier Inn. Please inform if you will be attending.

BORN THIS WAY

BORN THIS WAY

ATTACHED ARE TWO 10-SECOND VIDEOS.

THE FIRST IS ONE SHOWING THAT GIRLS ARE BORN THIS WAY.

THE SECOND SHOWS THAT BOYS ARE BORN THIS WAY.

Attachment: Born_this_way.wmv

Panzer Commander

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	History
Author:	Hans Von Luck

Fabulous read. An account of the war from the German perspective. This Officer ended the war as a full colonel. When in the western Desert he mentions the Royal Dragoons on many occassions. He shows a copy of the text of a letter from the CO of the Royal Dragoons addressed to him with regards to the chivalrous way in which this part of the conflict was conducted. Very enlightening.

The Dentist

The female dentist prepares the needle to give the bloke with the toothache an anaesthetic injection. “No way! No needles, I hate needles!” the guy said. So the dentist starts to hook up her nitrous oxide gas the man objects again. “I can't do the gas thing either." The thought of having the gas mask on my face makes me faint!” She then asks the guy if he has any objection to taking a pill. “No objection,” the patient says. “'I'm fine with pills.” When she returns she says, “Here's a Viagra and a glass of water.” The guy says, “Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!” “It doesn't” she said, "But it’ll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth out."

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day on Sunday the 29th to Keith Fairey, hoping that you have a good day.

With best wishes,

John Atkins

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day to Mike Decarteret, for today although a little belated, hoping that you have had a good day.

With best wishes,

John Atkins

One day a man decided to retire...

One day a man decided to retire...

 

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

 

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.

The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides

and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum

of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into

ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat... Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually,

"It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"

 

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,

"I'm going to slip into

something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor

made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing

but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias.

She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,

"We've both been out here for many months.

You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

"You've built a Golf Course?"

A new poem by Pam Ayres

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits
By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits!

Extraordinary story...............

Mr Onoja went on to have intercourse with four of his wives in succession, but 'stopped breathing' as the fifth was making her way to the bed in Ogbadibo

Warning: GRAPHIC CONTENT!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2178201/Uroko-Onoja-death-Husband-raped-death-5-wives-paying-attention-sixth.html

Rock Band!

WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12

    A man walks into a chemist shop with his 12-year old son.*
   
    They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What
    are these, Dad?

    To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms
    son. Men use*
    them to have safe sex."

    "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.*
   
    Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."*
    *
    He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why
    are there 3 in*
    this package?"

    The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday,
    one for Saturday,*
    and one for Sunday."

    "Cool" says the boy.*
    He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

    "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO For Friday, TWO
    for Saturday,*
    and TWO for Sunday."

    "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking Up
    a 12 pack.*
    With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,

    "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one
    for March......."**

           
 Husband says to wife,
 "My Olympic condoms have arrived.
 I think I'll go for Gold tonight."

 Wife says,
 "Why not wear Silver and
 come second for a change."

Subject: Fw: A Zebra dies and goes to heaven....

 

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates... As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.' The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?' The zebra looked puzzled.. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes..' The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You be what you is..'

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day for Wednesday the 25th to Tim Connoll, hoping that you have a good one.

With best wishes,

John Atkins

Info

Please note that I will be AWOL until the end of the week, having a break.

John Atkins

INTERESTING WORDS

Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?

Do you know that the words "race car" spelled backwards still spells "race car"?

And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?

And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking free loaders and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-loving, raggedy-Butts with you."

How weird is that?

Charity money

I am sorry that I must inform all those that donated to the charity money at the reunion this year that I have had to cancel the cheque to the Vaughan Family, the reason that I have had to take this step is because Mrs Vaughan promised me that she would get in touch with the local paper and get it put in there to thank all the members that donated money so that I could post it on the site, I found out that she did get in touch with a reporter who went out to their home but instead of giving him the information that we had agreed she used the reporter for her own agenda, where she informed him that they needed £5000 for a sensory garden which was published in the paper, there was a line in that interview which said ( someone from 1st The Royal Dragoons gave them a cheque for £260), I phoned the reporter that did the interview to ask him if he knew why he was not informed of the presentation and the photo that was taken to be posted in the paper, the answer that he gave me was that he thought by what was said to him that he was there to discuss the sensory garden and the mention of the donation by us was an afterthought that was mentioned at the end of the interview, after my discussion with the reporter I decided that I would cancel the cheque which had not been cashed at the time and I hope that all the members that donated money will be happy for me to send it to the Mcmillan Nurses, to me Mrs Vaughan has let you all down and most of all she has let her husband down, I think you will all agree that all we ask for is to show us a little courtesy for our efforts.

John Atkins

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day for tomorrow to Kenneth Buffery, hoping that you have a good one and many more to come.

With best wishes,

John Atkins

The passing of Cpl Digweed

I must sadly report that 7615563 Cpl Robert Sydney Herbert DIGWEED (93) who served with The Royal Dragoons from November 1939 to April 1946, died in a Care Home in Hampshire on Monday 16 July 2012.

 

Funeral arrangements to be announced later.

A funeral service for Robert Digweed will held at West Berkshire Crematorium, Thatcham, Berks RG19 4LD, on Wednesday 25th July at 14:15. His family would welcome any attendance by his colleagues or members of the Association

THE ROYAL DRAGOONS REGIMENTAL COLLECT

O God, in whose sight all creatures are manifest and to whose eyes all things are open, grant that the works Thou requirest of the 1st The Royal Dragoons may never be done to be seen of men, but always for Thy Glory, and that, waiting on Thee to renew our strength, we mount up with wings as eagles at Thy word, through Jesus Christ Our Lord.

(TOBIAS,1930)

Colin, the Aborigine

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ and
flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of
stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool.

Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'


'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?

Again, Colin said “No.”


Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?




Colin said,

'I want the bastard who pushed me in.'

Old boys beer

all are welcome, Adrian Gillard, Dave Howell, Totty Flude and Tony Bridgen all ex A Sqdn are meeting at the Fox Inn Matching Tye Essex 01279 731335 on Saturday 21st July for a quite beer and food. If any one wishes to join us you will be very welcome. We look forward to seeing you.

 

Short'n sweet & right to the point! Hope you enjoy it too!

This one is dedicated to all my friends who ever taught school, parented children or served their country.

A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started, he injured his back.

He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

The punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest…!!!!!

There was dead silence.

He had no trouble with discipline that year.

P9280029.AVI Life on board Intrepid.

The Red Arrows

Colin Rixon

Wellesley resident Colin Rixon loves joining reenactments, collecting antique military vehicles - Wellesley, Massachusetts - The Wellesley Townsman
Wellesley —
Forget about playing a Saturday round of golf or lying on the sofa reading the Sunday paper. The way Wellesley resident Colin Rixon likes to spend his weekends is huddled in a tent, cooking with iron pots and pans while wearing a military uniform.
Participating in battle reenactments has been Rixon’s passion for nearly 20 years, and he is part of the national network of men and women who gather to recreate the lifestyle of an 18th-century citizen. The whole process, said Rixon in a recent interview, is “exhilarating.”
“You go back in time to understand how people lived in that period of time. Life was harder, [and] people were harder workers. It’s amazing to leave the twenty-first century behind [in the parking lot],” said Rixon.
Rixon’s passion for reenactments partially came from his family’s own military history. His grandfather and father fought in World Wars I and II, respectively. Rixon himself was part of the Blues and Royals, a cavalry regiment of the British Army, before coming to the United States 19 years ago.
The greatest similarity between being in the armed forces and reenacting past battles, said Rixon, is the sense of comradeship that arises from the time spent together. Some of Rixon’s closest friends also participate in military reenactments, concentrating on the Revolutionary War in the area around Lexington and Concord, as well as in Boston itself.
“You really get a feel for the Revolutionary War living in the Boston area,” said Rixon, who enjoys participating in reenactments of events that shaped where he lives now.
Besides what Rixon referred to as the “theatre” of reenactments, he also has used his military knowledge and background to teach others. In full uniform, Rixon used to talk to eighth-grade students about the role of a soldier, and also that of an average citizen, around the time of the Revolutionary War. It was, Rixon said, great to be able to give kids a broader sense of the context for the basic facts they were learning.
Those are not the only ways Rixon is able to stay connected with his military history, however. Rixon also collects World War II vehicles with four friends he met during reenactments and who share his enthusiasm for faithfully keeping to a certain period of time.
Collecting vehicles from the 1940s and 1950s began with Rixon’s purchase of a World War II Jeep nearly 10 years ago. Rixon and his friends store the vehicles, which they often co-own, in a number of locations, including Hyde Park and Holliston. Altogether they have eight fully restored and functional vehicles, which are most often seen in public at Memorial Day and 4th of July parades, as well as at military events, in the Boston area.
Through a network of fellow vehicle enthusiasts, Rixon’s group has access to both the machinery and mechanics to restore the cars they find and purchase. Because the number of people are buying and selling vehicles from certain periods of time is increasing, Rixon said, the necessary parts are usually available, though there is more competition for the cars themselves now.
Rixon and his friends are also often able to research the individual cars they collect to determine their history, especially in terms of where they were used during the war. This sense of context, as well as the military nature of the hobby, ties in with Rixon’s passion for reenactments.
The group and their cars will be in Norwood’s 4th of July parade this year. Though he was born in England, Rixon said, he definitely enjoys the holiday for its historical importance. “I’m enjoying the holiday we gave you,” said Rixon. “And whatever your background, it’s all history

Don't worry about tomorrow, you already did that yesterday

 

Interesting facts on investments

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have £0.00 today.

If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have £0.00 today

But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tescos, drank all the beer,then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer,
you would have received a £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

And then..........................

A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be British.

Heir Hunters BBC 13/7

I was watching HEIR HUNTERS on TV this morning and they were looking into the life of one of the subjects. This chap had worked in Aden as a Ministry Engineer. They showed a few photos of the accommodation that these engineers lived in. They also showed some photos of soldiers that were posted to Aden during the problems there.

There was an image shown of one our ROYALS. The image was only on screen for about 2 seconds but the cap badge was very clear. I'm not sure if it was our "FRED" but it looked very much like him.

Did anyone else see this program this morning.

Shopping at Tesco

There was a bit of confusion at my Tesco store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down facing me."

Making a mental note to complain to the manager about the Store Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.

When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out
that she was referring to my credit card.

I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!

While I was there I got a new stick deodorant.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

Billy Connolly on Islam

This might offend...........

Attachment: Billy Connolly on Islam.wmv

Two Planes

 

No apologies for posting  this. If you agree, send it to everyone in your Contacts list. Wayne Rooney has just negotiated a £30, 000 PER WEEK rise on top of his already grotesquely enormous contract. Two planes landed in England the other day: -One carried a group of grotesquely over-paid, immature, under-achieving football players, who complained they were tired and missed their families after two weeks in five-star accommodations. The other carried the coffins of 7 fallen soldiers who had spent months away from loved ones, living in tents in a war zone; they couldn't complain. These soldiers earn £15k to £30k a year, not a day. If you believe that the England team should donate two weeks' wages to Help the Heroes then please forward this on.

- VERY BRAVE MEN JOKES -

  
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.  

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

THIS IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

An actual death row execution in the Arkansas GAS CHAMBER

I'm only sending this to those I know are in favour of the death penalty.

Violence should have serious consequences, and the punishment should reflect the crime.

Scroll Down......what a way to Die !

The Arkansas Gas Chamber

 

Not a pretty way to die, but extremely effective.

Since this gas chamber was pressed into service

violent crime in Arkansas has dropped by 90%.

Another blonde joke

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone,

while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says.
'It's best I stay here.' he says. '
'Why?' says the blonde.
The boy says: 'Because, I'm the bloody goalie'

General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters

Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you have to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time.


A portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military Headquarters is below.



FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:!
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.


FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio-cast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, this interview was over.

Welcome Ted Ashton

Please welcome Ted Ashton to the Bulletin Board, Ted served from 1947 to 1949 I believe, he is looking forward to getting in touch with those of you that served with him at that time, Ted will maybe tell you more once he has got used to the BB and should get some of you to get the brain cells working and remember him. his ID is tedboy83

 John Atkins

Health and Safety

What's all this Health and Safety nonsense

Attachment: UDOWHATUGOTTADO.pps

BRITISH HUMOUR

The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire
length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well
dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular
'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left
was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog,
tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! this American
should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans
seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork
in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

Ex Pats Reserve Forces

Please advize Her Majesty, Ready to serve when required!!!!!!

Is this what we will come to,???

Jubilee Concert Windsor

ted Ashton

An old royal named Ted Ashton asked me to ask members if anyone remembers him or George Brindle or Beale . Peter Coombs . Harry Blackledge.or Ginger Yates if so i will let him know. Thanks Brian hill.

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers One

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers Two

To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

Subject: FW: The Colonoscopy ...Brilliant !!

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. 'I should be in charge,' said the brain, 'Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen.' 'I should be in charge,' said the blood , 'because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away.' 'I should be in charge,' said the stomach , 'because I process food and give all of you energy.' 'I should be in charge,' said the legs, 'because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.' 'I should be in charge,' said the eyes, 'Because I allow the body to see where it goes.' 'I should be in charge,' said the rectum, 'Because I'm responsible for waste removal.' All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The ass hole is usually the one in charge! If you don't send this to at least three people....who gives a shit?