9 Reasonable Jokes

1. The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen
Table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and
Crying for no reason. I thought to myself "She's going through the
Change."


2. When I was in the pub I heard a couple of dickheads saying that
They wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.

What a pair of sexist idiots.

I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the thing!


3. Little Johnny is sitting in geography class when the teacher asks
Him, "Where is Pakistan?" He replies, "Outside playing with
Paki-Dave".


4. Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed
Six people in the arse in the last 48 hours, they believe the attacker

Could be following some kind of pattern.


5. A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea
Break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The
Bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins
At the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the
Teddy bears have their pick nicked."


6. Murphy says to Paddy "What ya talkin to an envelope for?" "I'm
Sending a voicemail ya thick sod!"


7. Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on
The head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.


8. 19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of
You?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."


9. An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the
World, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest
Mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name is Bindair Dundat.