joe titmarsh

JOE PASSED AWAY ON THE 29/12/2007    RIP JOE

BILL GREGSON

BILL GREGSON

PADDY PAUL

PADDY PAUL

geordi364

geordies photos

lackery woods

lackery woods

DON REMFREY

DON REMFREY

ref Tony Boon

Get well soon Tony think of Wertach & the force 6 in Fredrichaven you were the only one not to have burt legs after that trip from Lindau HeHe.

All the best .

George .

Aussie Wildlife

1. Thommo from crocodile dundee country  Kevin Thommo Thomson walks into a bar with a crocodile by his side.He puts the croc up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.I will make you a deal. i will open this crcocodiles mouth and place my private parts ins ide.    Then the crocwill close his mouth for one minute.then he willopen his mouth,and i will remove my todger unscathed. inreturn each of you will buy me a drink.The crowd murmered its approval,Thommo stood up on the bar,dropped his trousers and placed his todger in the crocs mouth,the crowd gasped.After a minute,Thommo grabbed a bottle of beer and smacked the croc hard on the head,the croc opened his mouth and thommo removed his todger unscathed as promised.The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinkswas delivered,Thommo stood up u again and made another offer.I will pay$100 whos willing to give it a go.A hush fell over the the crowd.After a few minutes silence,a single hand gos up.I will try,Yells a Blonde woman from the other side of the bar,But for Christs Sake dont Hit me so Hard with that bottle.....

george

JOKES

An old indian chief was asked his wifes name.
He replied "THREE HORSE"
"That`s an unusual name THREE HORSE,what does it mean?"
Old indian Name means ***NAG NAG NAG.

Sammy and Don

What handsome guys we were in the good old days.

----

Don

Attachment: Sammy Simpson and I.jpg

ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale, hit Essex in the early hours of today.   It's epicentre was in Basildon.  Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

 

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately 짙30 worth of damage.

 

Several priceless collections of mementoes from Majorca and Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

 

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were also lost'

 

Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.

 

Radio Essex reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened to Basildon.

 

One resident - Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.   My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all.   I was still shaking when I was spraying on me tan and watching Trisha on the telly".

 

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

 

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Argos and bone china from Pound Stretchers.

 

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

 

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels.    The most needed items are:-

 

Fila or Burberry baseball caps

 

Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)_

 

Rockport Boots

 

Any other items usually sold in Primark

 

Required foodstuffs include:-

 

Microwave meals

 

Tins of baked beans

 

Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew

 

Remember:-

 

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms

 

짙1 buys chips for a family of 9

 

짙6 buys a packet of B & H fags for those still shell shocked

 

Breaking News

 

Rescue workers have found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.  They asked "Where you bleeding from".    "Romford" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you".

alenleese

alenleese

The day I lost 4A through "friendly action"

Refuelling!!!!

Attachment: 4A burning.jpg

Tell her its a mushroom.jpg

Its a mushroom

MAJ.O.J.LEWIS

Very sad report of the death of MAJ O J LEWIS[1stTHE ROYAL DRAGOONS] at the age of 79yrs

Funeral will take place at 1400hrs Tuesday 20th november in FOWEY PARISH CHURCH ,CORNWALL

R.I.P.  O.J

They used to love my cookin'

Wondeful what you could do on the old No 2 cooker!

---

Don

Attachment: Home cooking.jpg

105

Well I just could not miss the chance to be number 105 on this forum.Best wishes to you all.

 

Georgy Porgy Pudding and Pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry

When the boys came out to play

He kissed 'em  too 'cause he was gay!

----

Don

H C A AUSTRALASIA

NOTICE TO ALL POTENTIAL MEMBERS
Many of you have indicated that you are keen to become members of the Household Cavalry Association Australasia when this was first suggested.
Numerous steps had to be taken to ensure that such a project would have the support and approval from the hierarchy, and that we had a significant number of potential members to make this venture viable. We have received approval from The Silver Stick, Col Patrick Tabor and currently we have approximately 40 – 50 potential members on record across Australia and New Zealand. In order to proceed to the next level we need to do a proper ‘head count’ to show the strength of the potential membership.
I have compiled a ‘Potential Membership Notification’ form and would appreciate it very much if this could be completed and returned to me as soon as possible by all who are keen to become members.
You will only need to fill out the ‘Personal and Service Details’ at this point. This is purely to indicate your intention and to indicate which Regiment you served in.
I am very aware that there are those who would like to be members but do not have access to a computer or email. I have, therefore, inserted a section at the bottom of the form for you to indicate your preference of correspondence (e.g. email or via postage).
You will note that there is no mention of membership fees on this form, the reason being that no membership fee has been set but I can assure you that the fees will be minimal and similar to those of other branches. Many of you have indicated your thoughts on fee charges and I have taken this into consideration. Donations will be more than appreciated as well.
Please do not send any money at this time.
As soon as we receive the completed forms and have a better indication of numbers, a formal membership application form will be forwarded indicating membership fees, details of payment and other membership benefits.
It would be appreciated if this information and the form could be passed on to those who do not have access to computers and are unable to access any of the Bulletin Boards.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
Jenny Bobeszko
Hon Secretary
07/07/2008

PERSONAL DETAILS
Mr/Mrs/Ms/Rank: __________ Surname: _______________________ First/Given Name: _____________________
Honours/Awards/Decorations/Titles: ________________________________________________________________
Male/Female: ____________ DOB: ____________ Place/Country of Birth: ________________________________
Address: __________________________________________________ Suburb: _____________________________
Postcode: _______________ State/Country: _____________________
Phone: (W) _________________________ (H) _____________________ Mobile: ____________________________
Email: _________________________________________________________________________________________

SERVICE DETAILS
Regimental Number: __________________ Rank: ________________ Regiment: _____________________________
Length of Service: ______________ Date of Enlistment: __________________ Date of Discharge: ________________

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I acknowledge that I wish to become a member of the HOUSEHOLD CAVALRY ASSOCIATION AUSTRALASIA
Signature of Applicant: ____________________________________ Date: _________________________
My preference of correspondence: Email 0 Postage 0
Please return completed form as soon as possible by email. If you do not have access to email please post this form to:
The Hon Secretary
27 Arunta St
Tarragindi 4121
Brisbane Qld
Australia

JOHN ATKINS (atco13581)

Wife, Daughter, Grandaughter, Greatgrandaughter,

MY FAMILY TODAY

Patricks Pics

Pripping the bar up

A few of my pictures from my past

Big Baby

A Jamaican walked into a bar and bought a round of drinks for all of those in the bar,announcing that his wife had given birth to a "Typical Jamaican baby boy weighing in at 20pounds"
Two weeks later walks in to same bar orders a drink and the barman asks "Say you the father of that Typical Jamaican Baby boy that weighed 20 pounds at birth ,how much does he weigh now?"
Proud father says "Fifteen pounds"
"Why what happened,he was 20 pounds at birth should be a might heavier now."
Proud dad replies "I HAD HIM CIRCUMCISED!!!!!!!!!.
Grumps

Cedric Auty

Cedric Auty

Crackling

Mary had a little pig

She kept it fat and plastered

And when the price of pork went up

She shot the little bastard

 

************

 

Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead

Now it goes to school with her

Between two bits of bread!

************

Even nursery rhyms get modern these days.

 

Don

CHINESE CYBER WARFARE

This weeks MOD Oracle states that the Chinese are very advanced in their Cyber Warfare capabilities.   They are hacking into Goverment computers etc.   Who knows they may well be reading this message, so take care what you post on this BB.    Just incase they have hacked into this BB, I'll have a large portion of chicken curry with fried rice and prawn crackers.

IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE

The perils of English as a second language!Seen outside a Bangkok temple :

 

"Ir is forbibben to enter a woman,even a foreigner,if dressed as a man"

 

Don.

MILITARY LANGUAGE CONVERSION CHART

NAVY                                      ARMY                              AIR FORCE

 

Heads                                        Bogs                                 Powder Room

Pit                                              Bunk                                 Queen Bed & Duvet

Pussers Cook                             Mess Cook                       Contract Chef

Wet                                            Brew                                 Double Espressso

No 4's                                         Civvies                              Casual attire

Seaman                                       Private                               Bobby/Jimmy

Chief                                           SSM                                  Timothy/Justin

Captain                                       Colonel                               Rupert/James

Defaulters                                    Orders                                The naughty step

Mess/Cabin                                 Barracks                             Self contained flat

Kecks                                          Underwear                         Knickers

DQ's                                             Detention                           Grounded

Lid/Cap                                        Beret                                  Optional

Stores                                           QM's Store                         Next for Men

Hammered                                     Pissed                                Oops, little tipsy

Detachment                                    Deployment                        Huh?

Die for your country                       Die for your mate                Die for air con

Shipmate/Oppo                              Mate/mucker                      Honey/Babe

Pussers Sandals                              JC sandals                          Patent leather shoes

SBS                                               SAS                                    Librarian

Shore Patrol                                   Monkeys                             Chaperones

Ooh Rah                                         Hoo Ah                               Jolly Good

Bag Meal                                        24 hr Ration Pack                Al La Carte

Chop one off                                   Salute                                   Wave

Parade Drill                                     Drill Practice                        What?

RNFT                                             BFT                                     Ping Pong Comp

EWO                                              RSM                                    OIC Cuddles

Midshipman                                     Officer Cadet                        Debutante

Jack Tar                                           Squaddy                               Raffy Chappy

derek

derek

Attachment: img028.jpg

NOAH'S ARK - THE REBUILD

In the year 2007 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.  Build me another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans".

 

He gave Noah the drawing, saying "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

 

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.    "Noah" he roared, "I'm about to start the rain!   Where is the Ark?

 

"Forgive me, Lord" begged Noah, "but things have changed.   Although I had no problem getting Outline Planning Permission to build it on a flood plain, I need Building Regulations Approval and I've been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system.   My neighbours claim that I should have obtained planning permission to build the Ark in my garden because it is development of the site, even though in my view it is a temporary structure.   We then had to go to appeal to the Secretary of State for a decision.

 

Then the Department of Transport demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.   I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

 

Getting the wood was another problem.   All the decent trees have Tree Preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl.   I tried to convince the environmentalists that I need the wood to save the owls - but no go!

 

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me.   They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.   They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

 

Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.   I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many disabled Polish carpenters I'm supposed to hire for my building team.

 

The Trades Unions say I can't use my sons.   They insist I have to hire only accredited workers with Ark building experience.

 

To make matters worse, HM Revenue & Customs seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to flee the country illegally with endangered species.   So, forgive me, Lord, but it will take at least 10 years for me to finish the Ark".

 

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

 

Noah looked up in wonder and asked "You mean you're not going to destroy the world"

 

"No" said the Lord.   It looks like Blair and Brown have beat me to it.

COMPUTER LITERACY

For those of us who have problems, we may not be as dumb as we think.   Spare a thought for some of these people, who contacted Technical Support:-

 

Tech Support     Click on the 'my computer icon' on the left of the screen.

Customer     Your left or my left

 

Customer    I have problem printing in red

Tech Support    Do you have a colour printer?

Customer     Aaaah ................ thank you

 

Customer     My keyboard is not working

Tech Support     Are you sure it's plugged into the computer

Customer     No, I can't get behind the computer

Tech Support     Pick up the keyboard and walk 10 paces back

Customer      OK

Tech Support     Did the keyboard come with you

Customer     Yes

Tech Support     That means the keyboard is not plugged in

 

Customer     I'm writing my very first email

Tech Support    OK, and what seems to be the problem

Customer     Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle round it.

Birthday

Dont forget its your sons birthday on the 28th Derek

Australia by foot

The Route by phone camera

Singapore

Are there any gentlemenn of the Singapore vintage,who has any pictures of  the Gurhkas chopping off  buffaloes and goates heads in their kukri competions my oldman had loads ,since lost in time ,I can remember seeing them doing them           on the drill square as their Pipe Band played on, There must be loads of Singapore, Malaya.......Stuart

Flys

A boy fiy sees a cute girl fly land on a pile of turd. He buzzes down and says, Excuse me, miss is this Stool taken.

IRELAND'S WORST AIR DISASTER

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning, when a small two-seater Cessan plane crashed into a cemetery.   Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far.   They expect the number to increase, as digging continues into the night.

Sunday

This message has been deleted by the author.

FIRST TIME IN A PLANE

Jimmy is about to fly for the very first time and he is a nervous wreck.   He is strapped into his seat, when the cockpit door opens.  The pilot enters the passenger section and with the aid of a white stick, tip-taps down the aisle.  Jimmy is mortified and when the pilot reaches him, he stops him and asks "Excuse me are you our pilot" to which the pilot replies "Yes".   "But your blind" says Jimmy.   "Oh don't worry about that" says the pilot.   "Don't worry" says Jimmy "How the hell can you fly this plane, when your blind".   "Easy" says the pilot "I have a co-pilot and he does all the pre-flight checks, taxis the plane down the runway, when we get to 200mph he hands over to me, and I take off"   "OK" says Jimmy "but how do you know exactly when to take off".   The pilot replies "Well being blind God has compensated me by giving me extra sensitive hearing, and when I hear all the passengers scream Fu....g Hell, I pull back the joystick.

ONLY IN BRITAIN

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

 

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescription, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

 

Only in Britain do banks leave both front doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

 

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our rubbish and cheap lawn mower in the garage

INLAND REVENUE AUDIT PADDY

The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the top auditor in the office.  The auditor is not surprised when Paddy show up with his solicitor.   The auditor says "Well, sir, you have an extravagent lifestyle and no fulltime employment, which you explain by saying that you win money by gambling.   I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable".   "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it", says Paddy.   "How about a demonstration?".   The auditor thinks for a moment and says "Okay, your on".   Paddy says "I'll bet you a £1000 that I can bite my own eye".   Thye auditor says "No way! It's a bet".   Paddy removes his glass eye and bites it.   The auditor's jaw drops.   Paddy says "Now, I'll bet you £2000 that I can bite my other eye".   The auditor can see Paddy isn't blind, so he takes the bet.   Paddy removes his dentures and bites his good eye.   The stunned auditor realises he has now lost £3000. with Paddy's solicitor as a witness.   "Would you like to go double or quits?" Paddy asks.   "I'll bet you £6000 that I can stand on one side of you desk and pee into that rubbish bin on the other side, and not a drop will land anywhere but in the bin"   The auditor is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way Paddy can manage that stunt, so he agrees.   Paddy stand beside the desk, unzips his trousers and strains like hell.   But he can't make the stream reach the bin and almost all the urine lands on the auditors desk.   The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has turned a major loss into a big win.   But Paddy's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.  "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.   "Not really" says the solicitor "This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me £20,000 that he could come in here and piss all over your desk, and that you would be happy about it.

 

2 mates 17 years apart

charity dinners

Golf

How did the bad golfer hit two good balls?......He stood on a rake.

Saturday joke

An old man hobbles up to an ice cream van and orders a cornet. Crushed nuts, grandad? asks  the seller. No, replies the oldman. Rheumatism. 

SSM story

The SSM of a highland regimemt goes to a chemists and places a tattered old condom on the counter , How much to repair it asks the SSM, oh dear replies the chemist   its in a bit of a state, i can sew it up there  and glue it here and here,but it will need tape down the sides   and  areally good wash. To be honest  it might be better to buy a new one.  The SSM promises to think about it. Next day he returns and says, i will take one of your condoms please,  i had  a word with the lads and th     ey e reckon a new one would be a good investment.........

joke

Why is an Australian lover like a wombat?   He eats, roots, shoots, and leaves.

MUSLIM TERRORIST JOKES

A Muslim Terrorist in our street, doused himself with petrol, set fire to himself and died.   We having a collection for his family.   So far we've got 80 litres.

 

New website for Muslim Terrorists to keep in touch with each other.   It's called FRIENDS REIGNITED.

bad weather

A motorist is making his way down aflooded road after a night of torrential rain. suddenly he sees a mans head sticking out of a large puddle,he stops his car and asks the man if he needs a lift, no thanks says chap i am on my bike.

Talisman Sabre 2007

Justin is the blonde on the right

The biggest military exercise in Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia with the US Marines and Australian Defence Force.

LAUGH

If you can make a girl laugh,you can make her do anything!.
OLD GRUMPY PROVERB!!!.

Don and Edith

Hi all,

       Thought I'd let you know what we look like these days.

---

Don

Attachment: Don and Edith.jpg

Love

FOR SALE

 

Wedding Dress,size 8.

Worn once - by mistake!

WHERE IS PG?

Where is Paul?  He is very quiet on both BBs.  Has he been banned?  Why is he so quiet?

 

Where oh where is my little dog

where oh where can he be

with his ears so short

and his tail so long

where oh where can he be

 

 

Cowboy Logic

A few years ago the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting a alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population.It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting/trapping the predator,the tree-huggers had a "more human" solution.

What the Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive,the males castrated and let loose again,and the population would be controlled.All the ranchers mulled over this "amazing" idea for a couple of minutes.

 

Finally,an old boy in the back row stood up,tipped his hat back,and said "Son.I don't think you understand the problem.Those coyotes ain't f...... our sheep----they're eating 'em!

EX MEMBERS

IN MEMORY OF EX ROYALS

Tpr g Appleby-02.01.49-BAOR

Tpr a Bedford-26.12.51-EGYPT

L/cpl  c f Blazier-20.10.67-BAOR

Tpr l Boyne-28.1047-BAOR

Cpl r l Bull-10 04 64-UK

Tpr w d Bullock-19 05 49-BAOR

S/lt m d s Clogg-28 08 57-BAOR

Tpr l Denver-20 05 66-BAOR

Tpr j e Hanlon-28 12 66-UK

Sgt m f Hatch-23 05 62-SINGAPORE

Tpr g Hill-29 08 58-BAOR

S/lt a g h Hirst 1952-EGYPT

Cpl j Ingham-17 05 63 UK

Tpr p d Irish 06 02 48-BAOR

Sgt g Kerr-21 01 63-UK

Tpr j l King-20 10 67-BAOR

Cpl r c Lott-01 07 48-BAOR

Tpr s r j Marlow-14 11 67-BAOR

Sgt r May-05 04 52-EGYPT

Cpl p s Middleton 06 02 64-CYPRUS

Sgt w Muir-?? 05 68-UK

L/cpl r a Mustoe-09 08 60-MUSCAT

S/lt d g Richardson-14 07 63-UK

Tpr j f Small-28 09 57-BAOR

Tpr m s Tibbles-10 04 65-BERLIN

L/cpl d b Williams-20 10 67BAOR

L/cpl j l WILSON-16 08 55-BAOR

Tpr d a Withers 20 10 56-BAOR

 

THESE MEMBERS ARE REMEMBERD AT THE NM  RIP

winka2651

My Family pic's

RIP

My mate, the one I took out recently for a bag of chips and a Mr. Softee. Died today.

 He served 23yrs. in the Fifth Inniskillen Dragoon Guards.  R.I.P. Eric.

Lest we forget.  Doug.

which way?

Why do we have to read each posting from top to bottom.Surely the last posting should be at the top of the page so I dont have to scroll down every time.

Come back DHW, all is forgiven.

 

Regimental Stirer.

 

Brian Alan.

PHOTOS

Ref Tony Swoon photo, I reduced the photo last night but it came out small so I have redone it this morning and you should find a better view of them now.

RIP

Cliff  Bromage (ex RHG 60,s era) and his wfe died recently in a horror crash.In did not know him but offer my condolances to his remaing family.

CLAP TRAP FORUM

YOU GOT ONE NOW PAUL BUT NOT SURE IF ITS GONNA WORK.STILL NOT GOT THE HANG OF THIS MSN GROUPS,BUT THINK IM WINNING

JOE CHAPMAN

It was very sad to hear that JOE CHAPMAN EX BLUE passed away yesterday.

RIP JOE