Drafting Guys over 60----
obviously written by a Former Soldier-
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical s-of-a-b....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have
attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the
first night!
--------------------
Probably true, but I think I may be most dangerous if I came across a Politicien, Banker or any one of the other 99,999 criminal bu*****s.
ReplyDeleteCrikey John,
ReplyDeleteDon't put ideas in their heads - and as pensioners they won't have to pay us either!And think of all those youngsters longing for a bit of adventure,and thats why most of us joined anyway!And could they dig out my old Daimler and .303?
-----
Don
What a wonderful idea, as long as you promise I don't have to run, i,m game. Can I have my old ferret back. Alan.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea providing that I fight in a Centurion thats been fitted with comfortable arm chairs and a well sticked bar.
ReplyDeletePaddy
Can i have an armoured zimmer frame
ReplyDeletePaddy do you mean (stocked bar)
ReplyDeleteOf course. Thats what it does to your speech.
ReplyDeletePaddy
Now I can just see in my minds eye that Cent with the ammo bins all STOCKED up with Jamisons 120mm bottles!
ReplyDeleteOf course it would be the empties that would get thrown at the foe!
What an imagination!!!!
-----
Don
We're thinking along thre same linesd Don. Hic!.
ReplyDeletePaddy