A Bottle of Merlot

I asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking me, then decided to send a reply to me by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to me.

 

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your pants.....

 

After reading the note, I decided to compose one of my own in return. I folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

 

It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back.