Whoops

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.

Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the

motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...

"Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is,

your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9000 in insurance

compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new

willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the

thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch."

The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide

how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with

your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go

for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one

before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might

be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make

the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you

spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.

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"We're having granite worktops."

The cost for the reunion

The cost for the reunion this year will be £10 per person, this is to cover the Buffet, Wreath, Charity and flowers for Ann Taylor who we hope will be doing the service at the NMA.

I will be sending out an Email with my home address for payments.

John Atkins

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

On the 9th we have two members that will be celebrating there birthdays, happy birthday to Kevin Alexander and Adrian Gillard, hoping that you both have a good day.

 With best wishes,

  John Atkins

00EB11 Reborn.

Today was a good day. Since picking up the Ferret was able to spend a full day Starting her up and listening to her Purr!
April 16th will be her Public Debut.

My photo from 1960/61

Photo taken in a photo studio in Neesoon/ a young 21 year old.

Ferret 00EB11 Veh History Form 419

Great people at the Tank Museum. I was able to obtain both Vehicle History Cards. My Ferret was used by 4 RTR & 17/21st in Berlin.

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many happy returns of the day to Brian Allen aka Grumps tomorrow 7th March, all the best and have a good day and don't expect to get all you ask for,

 With best wishes,

 John Atkins

 

 

Welcome Tony Wright to the BB

Welcome Tony, good to have you on board at last, Tony has come on the BB through his grandaughter, maybe we will hear from him once they get used to the site, Tony have a look around you will find a few members that were in A sqn the same time as yourself.

 John Atkins

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

Many Happy Returns to Fred Fearn tomorrow 2nd March, hope you have a good day,

 With best wishes,

  John Atkins

 

 

Message from Scouse

Hi John could you kindly pass on my kind regards to all for the support and kind wishes they sent me

Sonny AKA Scouse

BIRTHDAY

Today is Derek's wife Pats birthday, thinking of her on this day with love from all on the Bulletin Board.

  John Atkins

 

 

Pixie's Weekend

What an eventfull weekend. All in all drove 1100 miles round trip From Boston Massachusetts to New Jersey & Pennsylvania back to Boston Picking up my lastest addition 1963 Ferret 00EC11. On the way back in Connecticut, we blew a tire on the Trailer. NO SPARE!!! had to drive 200 miles back tio Boston pickup spare & return Sunday AM. The Good news Mission Completed all arrived back at base safely. Here's a few pic's and some of the goodies that came with it.

How-Did-DeNiro-Do-This-Without-Laughing.wmv

Attachment: How-Did-DeNiro-Do-This-Without-Laughing.wmv

Cursor Thief

WHEN THE GUY ON THE SCREEN STOPS RUNNING, PLACE YOUR CURSOR ABOUT 1/2 INCH ABOVE HIS HEAD... ... WEIRD... ...

http://www.selfcontrolfreak.com/pakken.html

Detained and Branded Racist.

The case of Mr Jones, a former member of the Household Cavalry and a retired fireman.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106631/Fireman-Sam-creator-detained-branded-racist-burqa-joke-airport-scanners.html

Subject: FW: Few: Proofreading is dead...

 

 

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't  you say?    Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.     I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny...    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says        Really? Ya think?  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers          Now that's taking things a bit far!    -----------------------------------------------------------  Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over          What a guy!    ---------------------------------------------------------------   Miners Refuse to Work after Death  No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! ------------------------------------------------------   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   See if that works any better than a fair trial!   ----------------------------------------------------------  War Dims Hope for Peace   I can see where it might have that effect! ----------------------------------------------------------------   If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  Ya think?!  -----------------------------------------------------------------------   Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures   Who would have thought!  ----------------------------------------------------------------  Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    They may be on to something!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------  Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges   You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?    ----------------------------------------------------------  Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge   He probably IS the battery charge!  ----------------------------------------------   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group   Weren't they fat enough?!  -----------------------------------------------    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   That's what he gets for eating those beans!   ---------------- ---------------------------------   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks   Do they taste like chicken? ****************************************  Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half   Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  ***************************************************  Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors   Boy, are they tall!  ******************************************   And the winner is....   Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead      Did I read that right?  ***************************************************      Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Collage of Derek

This in memory of Derek

History of the Condom

Interesting piece of history...



In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom, using a sheep's lower intestine.



In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the
intestine out of the sheep first.

Irish vs The French!

 The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.  

 

'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in   County Clare  ,   Ireland  . I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon  treaty!'
'Well Paddy, Sarkozy replied. How big is your army?'
 

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.  

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'


'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'


Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'


Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200, 000!'


'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'


Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'


'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'


'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no feckin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'  

£50 Nookie

An elderly man and woman, both in their 70's, walk into a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'
He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye.

A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.
The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment,
has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask.
Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.
She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges £98. The Hilton charges £139.
We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from BUPA.'